06 Mar How My Drop-In Studio Changed My Life
I have had struggles in specific areas my entire life. Whether it be substance abuse issues, focusing in school, relationships with others or constant mood swings I couldn’t describe. In my teenage years when I really witnessed the pattern forming I started to question whether I had something wrong with me. I went to a therapist in my mid twenties that diagnosed me with BPD. Borderline personality disorder (BPD), which is also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) it is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by unstable relationships with other people, unstable sense of self, and unstable emotions. It didn’t come as a shock to me as it was something I had researched for years whenever I would experience an episode. I was just too afraid to really face it. The doctor I was seeing recommended I start meditating which I remember trying but couldn’t keep it up. My mind just wouldn’t shut off and I found it extremely challenging to get through even just a few short minutes. Meditating by myself was nowhere near enjoyable. It wasn’t until I was able to do it in group settings at ZENDEN along with Sound Healing that I found myself looking forward to meditating at home without the need to be in a group. After my few failed attempts at meditating years prior, I ended up giving up on finding a solution and continued to struggle for years later.
I began to think maybe my drinking problem could be the issue and by that point I just ran myself down to the lowest point I could in my life to push me to quit alcohol altogether. I also thought maybe my drinking was the reason I couldn’t hold down a relationship. I started to turn to spirituality in this time to help with this transition and I seeked help from many energy healers and also decided to use up my benefits package at work. I sat a few times with psychologists and other healers in the city. I tried almost everything from reiki, theta, reconnective, acupuncture, EMDR and even partaking in 2 ayauhascha ceremonies. This all helped me to stay sober and my behaviour did seem to be more stabilized in this time than it had been in years but it wasn’t until I started dating my new boyfriend that the patterns of BPD arose again. Things moved fast for us in our relationship. We decided to open a meditation and healing studio together less than 2 months into us dating as we saw the demand for healing and meditation in this city. It was a passion project that had been part of my dream for years now that stemmed from my own journey of healing from addictions. Andrew saw this fire in me and was drawn to take part. Even though him and I had very little experience with meditation and sound healing I felt this higher power pushing us to open this studio. I always thought I would just start off as a Reiki healer then build it from there but the Universe had a bigger plan.
Weeks leading up to the opening of our business I was cycling in and out of these intense emotions that I just could not get a grasp on for the life of me. We were dealing with constant stress of having to move from our place in Yaletown to next door to our business along with the pressures of opening a new business just pushed me to the edge. I also had to make everything perfect for the grand opening which added more unnecessary stress. I was losing my sense of identity along the way and not to mention sabotaging my relationship. I wasn’t practicing what we were about to preach and it wasn’t until I started to take the meditation and sound classes on a regular basis and also facilitate the classes myself is when the changes really started to transpire. And on a much bigger scale than I was even aware was humanely possible! It took a period of about 6-8 weeks from facilitating the classes until I became free of these episodes. And I mean completely free. I thought I would have to die with this brutal disorder as I felt I had tried everything up to this point I could possibly imagine. I am more mindful now. I used to snap at little things and now those little things don’t even bother me. If I am annoyed and I start to use a tone of voice to Andrew that would be considered bitchy, I instantly notice it the second it arises and it almost gives some kind of shockwave through my body that I will detect in a matter of milli seconds that it makes me jump in a way and snap out of it. I realize I don’t even like the way it sounds and I will switch to speaking in a nicer tone of voice. I used to say the meanest things to him that I didn’t mean when we would really get into it and now it doesn’t escalate to that level of fighting because I don’t even like the tone of voice to begin with! Our fights do not get anywhere near how they were before. Our classification of fighting now would be considered whining and would be over within a matter of minutes. It has changed our relationship drastically. This line of work has made me a more loving and mindful person in all ways. I feel more love for myself and just love for humanity as a whole. I always had paranoid thoughts that everyone was against me. I would have negative thoughts arise that I couldn’t shake at times and now I view life so differently. In a more loving and beautiful way. It has made me become a better person. A person I knew I was destined to be deep down inside. Not someone who has to endure this horrible disorder that robs you of your sanity. I am now determined to lend my hand and I feel it is my responsibility to be of service to others who are struggling with this disorder. I strongly believe I was dealt these struggles so I could help others who are experiencing the same issues. This disorder has a high risk of suicide and it unfortunately has taken far too many lives. The struggling has got to end.
So, I have decided to conduct my own research into healing BPD with the intent to get further research by professionals in this area. I will be looking for individuals who have been diagnosed with BPD and are currently struggling. If you or someone you know are struggling with this and would be open to a 3 month trial please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I will need someone who can commit to partake in 3 months of Meditation/Sound Healing and Energy Healing classes through our studio which will be free of charge. You will need to commit to atleast 4 days of attending these classes in studio along with facilitating 3-4 Sound Healing classes a week for 8 weeks. We require you to eventually develop a regular meditation practice at home at some point within the 8 weeks if you aren’t already doing so. You will also be required to be transparent and be open to discuss your progress as you go along and this may include being on camera. I will also be providing free one on one Reiki and Emotion Code private sessions with you as well as providing you with some information that I have learned to be of beneficial use in my own healing. Please note I am not a Psychologist but someone who has known first off how debilitating this disorder can be. I am doing this out of the pure goodness of my heart to help others and to find out if this disorder can once and for all become stabilized if not cured by the powerful effects of Sound Healing. There is little to no research done in this area on Sound healing and the impact it has on this disorder so it is now a passion of mine to help others who struggle and are experiencing no relief from their current methods. I know how hard this can be for not only yourself to live with but how hard it can be on your loved ones as well.
Please contact me if you would be open to the possibility of discovering healing through these modalities
Love and Light,